u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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