Are we in a gay sports bar?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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