You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
They have beer where we have blood.
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