Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
