when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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