he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
