How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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