Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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