i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
