Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
