I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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