I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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