We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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