Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize