hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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