one two three fourrrrnication!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize