How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Where is the hickey?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
