i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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