my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
