I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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