I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The beers last night were like the tears from god
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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