the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
