HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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