my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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