The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
