Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
