Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
