id be glad to
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
