I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
