I look better un-naked...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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