That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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