If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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