Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
