Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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