4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
