Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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