Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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