dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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