Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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