my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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