I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
