I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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