I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
