bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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