I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
