We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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