we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
