i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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