I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
