remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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