She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
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Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
MIDGETS
????
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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