You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
