he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize