Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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