i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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