i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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