NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
