this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
