when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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