I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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