The maid of honor just puked.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
