I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
